“My taste in beer was formed by commercials in the ’70s and ’80s…”

That line right there is enough to disqualify anyone from having an intelligent discussion about beer.  If you feel the need to read the rest of the cringe-worthy “article” on AskMen.com, don’t say I didn’t warn you.  Read it here.  But, since I often find I can’t let sleeping dogs lie – especially when it comes to beer – I feel like I have to refute this misguided, ill-informed, and patently false hack job.

The author of the piece would have you believe that all of us who claim to enjoy good craft beer are liars and snobs more concerned with looking cool than enjoying our beverages.  He says “It’s time to admit it. You hate the beer you drink today.”

No sir, I don’t.  I actually love the beer I drink today.  I love my choices.  I love the varieties.  Do I like them all?  No, of course not.  But way more often than not, I do enjoy the beer I drink.

He makes mention of seeing the rows of craft beers in his local store and then claims “I love beer, but I hate these beers.  And so do you. You can deny it all you want, but I’ll never believe you wouldn’t rather shoot pool with a couple of Pabst Blue Ribbons than with a cedar-spiced holiday ale.”

Well, Mr. Smith, I am denying it.  Vehemently.  And I also question your love of beer.  What you love is the lie that has been perpetrated by the same commercials you have admitted shape your albeit-questionable taste.  The ice-cold… the fizzy yellow… the delivered by Swedish Bikini Teams… The fact is, sir, that you do not know what you are talking about.  There is a reason that while the overall beer market is shrinking and sales are down, the craft beer market is growing and seeing an increase.  Do you really think people are lying to themselves and just trying to be cool and snobby?

You claim that you have “friends” who say you are missing out and call you a beer square.  But I sincerely question whether or not you have had a real

Do you remember the "Bitter Beer Face?"

conversation about beer.  Actually tried anything recently.  Your descriptions of turpentine, pumpernickel, B.O., and sweat socks do not sound like any of the beers I drink.  Are there some beers out there that are bad?  Sure.  Plenty.  And you are right about the attempt to fool an unsuspecting public with some imports years ago by claiming beer heritage.  Unfortunately, few of those were different from the light American lagers we were already forced to accept.  A lot of them were, and still are, “skunky, musky brews”.  But there are so many other choices.

In today’s craft beer world, you can’t make blanket statements like “I hate these beers”.  You like light American lagers?  Fine.  I challenge you to try a truly excellent Pilsner or another well-crafted lager.  I would bet you enjoy them more than your “yellow, fizzy and brewed in Milwaukee… in a can so cold I have to guzzle it just to get the feeling back in my hand” beer.

I am pretty sure that Mr. Smith will never take that leap, however.  He has already let the talking frogs, the emotive limes, and the race-car drivers tell him what to drink.  That’s fine.  All the more for me.

Cheers!

~ by Sean Nordquist on March 13, 2012.