>May the Fourth be With You – What Would Yoda Drink?
In honor of “Star Wars Day” last week, I decided it was appropriate to bring back the “fictional characters that I would like to sit and enjoy a good beer with.” Previously, on the 40th Anniversary of Sesame Street, we looked at the cast of the beloved children’s series and paired them up with what kind of beers to share. I feel it is only appropriate to address the other major influence in my life with the same respect.
I will preface this by admitting, with great pride, that I am, always have been, and always will be a Star Wars geek. I remember very distinctly going to see Star Wars with my father when it came out in 1977. We went to see it in the old Century City movie theatres (this was long before the multiplex that came along when I was a teenager). I remember riding the escalators up from the underground parking lot, sitting in front of the enormous screen, and watching the most incredible thing I had ever seen. It fundamentally changed me and has remained to this day one of the most influential things in my life. Of course, I am talking about the Holy Trinity – The Original Trilogy, not the subsequent prequels and the new Clone Wars, etc.
So, with my uber-geekiness laid out there on the table, let’s answer the question: What Would Yoda Drink?
Yoda – The serene, wise, and backwards talking muppet is the epitome of a true Master. Never one to rush or hurry, he prefers to sip his craft beer and experience it and all of its nuances. Barrel-aged and complex brews are his choice; Cigar City’s Bourbon Barrel Aged Hunahpu, Lost Abbey’s Angel’s Share, and Barley John’s The Dark Knight (Returns) are among his favorites.
Ben “Obi-wan” Kenobi – Usually, the “crazy old hermit” is a scotch drinker. Single malt, almost exclusively. But when he sits down for a pint, he asks for a bitter. Why bitter? Lets see, your best friend betrays you and then leads the movement to wipe out everything you have worked your entire life to preserve, you end up living in an adobe hut on a desert planet all alone, and then you have to look after your former friends whiny-ass son, only to have your old buddy show up and kill you. Yeah, ol’ Ben has a right to be bitter. Jolly Pumpkin E.S. Bam, Oakham Asylum, or some Fullers ESB will do.
“Princess” Leia Organa – The spitfire with cinnabon hair looks killer in a bronze bikini, but she’s no lightweight. This girl likes to party and nothing better than a good hoppy IPA after a day of “diplomatic missions to Alderaan”. She loves her Bear Republic Racer 5 and Rebellion Amarillo, but has a special place in her heart form Sun King Brewing’s The Princess Warrior.
Chewbacca – Normally Wookiees are not beer drinkers. The foamy head gets in their fur and any spills turn the walking carpet into something more akin to a walking bar rag. But after hours of being hounded by a nerf-herding smuggler (“THIS one goes here, THAT one goes there!”) a strong barley wine makes him less likely to pull anyone’s arms off. Hair of the Dog Bourbon Doggie Claws From the Wood is his natural choice, but Kuhnhenn Brown and Hairy Nut Porter will do in a pinch.
Han Solo – The man. The myth. The scoundrel. Cool as winter on Hoth with the hottest ride this side of the mines of Kessel. Han goes for anything rare and hard to get. He had Tactical Nuclear Penguin before anyone else, and keeps a case of Pliny the Younger growlers in carbonite under that false floor in the Falcon. He is at every release party and is usually the one responsible for the short supply. He’ll share his Samuel Adams Millennium or his collection of 3 Fonteinen brews if he is feeling generous. Word around Mos Eisley is that he hangs out with Ken Weaver.
Luke Skywalker – The “hero” of the films. But damn this kid is whiny! He’s used to blue milk with Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru, but has been seen shotgunning fizzy yellow water and doing keg stands with Biggs down in Tosche Station. Maybe someday he will grow up and drink real beer, but his lineage is not great.
Darth Vader – The immediate thought is that the Dark Lord of the Sith should drink Imperial Stouts and the darkest things around, right? Not so. You see, Vader used to be Anakin Skywalker, remember? Just as whiny and immature as his son turned out to be. Doesn’t want to listen, thinks he’s better than everyone, and force-chokes people to death if they have the gall to challenge him. He is an honorary board member at InBev.
There are others, of course… but we’ll see who picks up the tab this time and who gets invited to the Ewok celebration.